Now…First keep in mind that many of you will not understand at all what I’m about to say. We (Wisconsinites) live in the state where alcoholism is basically ingrained in our culture. Drinking every night…Partying all week…
However, this is not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about a very serious acute kind of alcoholism. The type where you start drinking at the age of 14 and start downing full bottles of vodka by 15. I’m talking about the type where your family has a history of drinking. The type where you live with depression. You feel like dying. Every. Day. I’m talking about the type where you have (from the feet up): mishealed broken bones in both feet, plantar fasciitis, permanent nerve damage in the left ankle, scoliosis, a right shoulder that redislocates itself every few months, migraines and seizures. I drink to forget all of the horrific things I’ve seen and experienced myself. The reason why I drink, is to feel nothing.
Again, it’s hard to relay this idea to people that are not afflicted with the same disorder. Anyone that can literally “have just a beer or two” cannot comprehend this situation. It’s like telling a schizophrenic to “act normal” or telling someone with OCD to “forget the small things”. If I get one taste of boos I will drink every single drop of liquor available until I pass out cold.
Others tell me “you’re fine, you’re don’t have a problem”. Really? I spent over $10,000 on alcohol throughout college alone. I have 9 alcohol related citations, not to mention all of the others. 3 different rehab programs. 3 trips to detox: one took place during my graduation ceremony, where I blew nearly a .5, one drink away from a grave. That’s death for 99.9% of the population. I have RUINED relationships with countless old friends, girlfriends, family members, and a LOT of couches (light moment).
How THE FUCK have I managed to become an winning artist, writer, producer, director, dancer, motivational speaker, athlete, marketer, salesman and student by 24 years old?
A. Support of Family and Friends
B. I’m highly motivated
C. I’m very smart
D. I’m completely insane
So when I tell you that this is the first full week in 8 years where I haven’t had any alcohol, don’t be sad, be proud. Imagine what I can do if I can kick this toxin.